R's bday

This weekend was a long one. Which is kind of funny since last weekend was an actual long, 3 day weekend for me and I had a lot more going on during this normal, 2 day weekend.
Friday night was R's b-day party. Like years past, laser tag was the first thing on the agenda for the night. Well, after the pre game party at the house that is. Gotta be ready for laser war ya know? I had a couple of errands to run after work before I could make it over to their house, and just like years past, I missed the god damn laser tag adventure. Damn it. By the time I was able to meet up with them, they had moved to a bar in Gresham. I really hate being late, and I really hate that I missed laser tag...But I have the best friends ever so they didn't even care. Of course, that could have something to do with the drinking. Possibly.
As soon as I sat down, R made me look at the couple at a nearby table and told me that they had been sitting in the same position forever. I looked, and they were sitting on the same side of the table, facing each other, holding each others hands between them and staring at each other intently while talking. R told me there was a point where they were just staring into each others eyes for 5 minutes. They really just sat there staring at each other. Not eating, or drinking, or moving. Just staring at each other. Ok then...
Once I realized the waiter wasn't going to pay any attention to the latecomer (me), I decided to run outside to move my car. I wasn't totally sure where the bar was when I was driving there, so when I found it I parked...before I saw the place had it's own parking lot. A came with me so I wouldn't have to suffer the cold alone. And probably to get away from all the drunk man love that was starting to happen. She was the designated driver and therefore sober. Hard to handle emotional men when you're not drunk I guess.
Why is it, when big burly men drink they turn into the most emotional babies on the planet? What's that about?
When we walked back to the table I found my seat taken. I'd been booted! Not really. Once I came back in the guy went and grabbed himself a chair and everyone shifted to make room. The couple over there was still in love stare mode. Until the waiter bumped into them breaking their concentration. In the waiters defense, he wouldn't have ran into them if they were paying attention to their surroundings and maybe moved out of the only walk way right behind them. They were laughing and so was our whole table, since everyone had been watching them have a stare down for so long. Now that the curse was broken, they were able to get up and play a game of pool.
M was definitely a bit beyond tipsy and kept yelling about the pirate in the bar (a man with an eye patch) and the big crack (a girl with unfortunately short waisted pants sitting on a stool nearby). And then she started throwing ice. It started with one cube at a time. Trying to make it into drinks. As she drank more...She started throwing more ice. Until finally she reached into the glass and grabbed an entire handful to throw. Then her man took the glass away. And cleared the table of everything within her reach. She was smiling like a child that knew she was in trouble but was looking for more. I was scared.
A and I shared some fries (YUM! I forgot how much I love fries) while we pondered how close one man's face can get to anothers before the drunk wears off enough for them to see how close they actually are. We could tell there was intense conversation happening. I definitely heard something like "You're my brother man. Even if we're not, like, brothers." I think I saw some watery eyes....and then drunk girl came over. "Fries are SO GOOD!" she told us as she shoved a couple fries in her mouth. Yes, yes they are drunk girl.
After R finally caught up on all the drinks friends had bought for him, we were all ready to head back to the house. Or so we thought. I locked my keys in my car. I moved my car one freakin block, and locked my keys in the damn thing. R and A both try their own car keys in my door, just in case. Hey, we both have Toyottas. It coulda worked. Maybe... I remember my spare car key at the house and we make a plan to drive the birthday boy back home so he can hang out with his friends while A drives me to my house to get my spare car key. We wait for the guys that are supposed to be riding with us, but find out they've decided to walk back to the house. In the freezing weather. Whatever guys.
5 minutes into the car ride I realize I can't go home for my spare key. My house key is on the same key ring that is locked in my car. Damn! Why did that fact evade me until now? So, we drive R back to the house and then A drives me back to the bar while I call AAA to come unlock my car for me. I don't know why I waited so long to get AAA but it is by far one of the best decisions I've made as an adult. I lock my keys in my car more often than I'd like to admit. And there were those times when I needed help with a flat tire... Oh AAA, how I love thee.
They quoted me a 20 to 30 minute wait time, but as usual with my beloved AAA, they were there in no time and in seconds my car was unlocked. A says we should get me one of those door unlocker things. I have one. In my house. Lotta good that does me when all my keys are in the car. I just need to turn my brain on more often I guess.
A and I head back to the house and arrive back just in time for the pizza to be delivered. Sweet delicious pizza. I wasn't really excited about the pizza though...I was excited about the bbq wings I had R order for me. Don't worry, I didn't make him pay. It is his birthday party after all. He gave me the entire box of wings and only took one for himself. I am ok with that. I have one smallish slice of pepperoni and pineapple pizza and use my wing box as my plate. And then I'm stuck in my chair until I'm done eating. Bbq wings are messy. And so deliciously amazing. I couldn't eat them all. I tried. I really did. R helped me and took a second one. After half an hour I gave up. I only had one more wing to go. But I don't want to make myself sick. Even if sick only means an overfull tummy.
Somehow we get to talking about the world record for how many yoga balls a person has rolled across on their stomach (thank you Tosh.0) and that's when A realizes we can play that game right now! She grabs her yoga ball and rolls down the hallway. It looks too fun. I must try. I shrug off my jacket and do a little stretch action. Don't wanna hurt myself ya know? A slides back down towards us and I am so ready for my turn. I grab the ball and roll down the hall. FUN! Do it again. MORE FUN! This is a good game. A sits on the ball and then falls off the ball. That's the thing with using a ball as a chair. There's no back to stop you from leaning too far.
Once she is recovered, she starts scrolling through the iPod looking for some good party music. Instead she puts on some nice booty jams. Which inspires now drunker girl to dance. Alone. In the living room. She tries to get us to dance with her but we're having enough fun watching her. Drunk girl runs into the kitchen to try and dance with the boys. Almost immediately she is back in the living room and basically gives all of us girls a private dance. All the boys are in the kitchen, and drunk girl is in the loving room slow grinding with herself and doing some fancy hip work. Her husband comes around the corner and just watches for a minute. Then he starts saying encouraging things to her like "Nice...nice" and "What the heck are you doing?!" She retaliates by grinding all over him and then she says "Whatever!" and keeps dancing alone. Can't get mad at a girl for having fun by herself right? She keeps dancing while her husband goes back into the kitchen. "Whatever! Imma be a teacher!" Looks like a kick ass teacher to me.
Then I notice something wet on my arm. What is that? OMG! RUGBURN! How the hell did I not notice that until just now? My right arm is 1/4 rugburn. And it's oozing. That is just disgusting. I show A and she laughs at me for taking so long to notice.  There are carpet fibers in my arm ooze. I say it's sticky and R's reaction is "Well don't sticky it to any-a mah shit." Alright R, but only because it's your birthday.

Random Things From This Week

So, I went to the store this week right? I'm standing in line and I see a child standing a few check stands away from me. This child locked eyes with me. Then slowly raised his hand and pointed at me with no expression on his face. It felt like an evil omen. Like he was saying "YOU! You're next to DIE!". I was terrified. Fer reals. I looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this. Maybe I was the only one that could see him....Of course, no one thought this death threat throwin kid was anything special to look at and when I looked back at him...he was still pointing! I might have nightmares about him...

Here's a question: Since when do we believe what the weatherman says? Just because he says the word "snow" we suddenly have faith in him? Come on people! We live in Portland. That guy is ALWAYS wrong! He says expect rain, it's sunny. He says it's gonna be warm and totally sunny, there are thunderstorms. I realize, that most people get excited about the possibility of snow, and there were legitimate snow storms all over the country, but really... Did it snow? Sure it did. Was it a snowpocalypse disaster? Not even close. So why did everyone expect me to be excited about a snow day that wasn't really a snow day? So now, the city is shut down and I'm expected to "enjoy" my snow day? I definitely enjoyed the extra hour and a half of sleep I got. I don't enjoy that my bathroom is the same temperature as outside. I don't enjoy the way people drive like actual brain dead zombies when they think the roads might be slick. I don't enjoy people assuming I'm upset that the snow didn't stick because I don't really care. If I want to play in snow I'll just take a short drive to the mountain and be actually prepared for the bitter cold. Basically, I'm the only person I know who is glad the threat of snow is over so people will go back to being normal. Sorry K, I know you love your snow and have been trying to get me to come to the light...but I just don't have love for the snow like you do. Now if you wanna talk to me about sand...That's a conversation I can get excited about!

The printer broke at work this week. As I was in the middle of a huge print job. I don't even do big print jobs often. So of course it decides to break when I'm trying to do something. Rude ass piece a cra......Erm...I mean, it jammed, and I tried to fix it but it fought back. I have scratches to prove it. I finally gave in and realized I'm not properly trained to slay evil printers, so I called a professional printer slayer. Or I tried to...The process to actually get someone to come look at the thing is an interesting one...by the time I had jumped through all the hoops it was close to 5 and the repair man decided I could wait until the next day. I wasn't even trying to get him to come out that day, I just wanted to schedule an appointment for him to come out the next day. The way people do business these days. I swear.

I've lost a total of 15 pounds so far guys! I am STOKED! The cravings for chocolate are definitely getting harder to handle, but I think I'm doing alright. Even my brow girl said my skin looks better. I'm not working out as much as I was earlier in the month since my dryer is still broken. Procrastinate much? Hey, repairs cost money and that's something I don't have much spare of right now since...

This time next week I'll be in Florida! I so can't wait! I'm going to visit my bestie J and we're going to see one of our favorite comedians live and play on the beach and party like rock stars! Ok, so maybe not really like rock stars, but we're definitely going to have fun. Did I mention the temp there is steady in the upper 70's and 80's? Jealous much?

The Housewarming Hula

Saturday night, after taking a luxuriously long drive through the west hills, I headed over to W & A's housewarming party. Of course, I had to bring a housewarming gift and since W had specifically asked for me to bring my hula hoops over, I just bought him a couple of his own for the house. One beginner size and one advanced. Gotta make sure there is something for everyone ya know?
I walk in to the house and at first don't see a single person I know. Which adds to the weirdness factor of me walking around with hula hoop necklaces. I work my way to the back of the house where there seem to be more people. I find S in the kitchen, preparing shots for everyone with A. When she saw me she laughed because she was wondering who came in with hula hoops. Of course it would be me! I tried to find a place for the hula hoops to hang out when W came in. Wearing a sparkly fairy hat. Because he is apparently princess birthday tonight and not W. He's super excited about the hula hoops and takes them straight to the back patio to check out his skill level. After a couple of tries he had it down. Of course, A had to come out and check out her skills too. Which were pretty killer. And then it was handed off to the old drunk guy. Who almost took out the pretty star lamp on the ceiling when he lifted the hula hoop over his head. Bit of exaggerated movement I'm thinkin. He did not have hula skills. At least he gave it a shot. And gave us some entertainment for a minute. It's decided that more hula hooping will happen after more drinking happens. Apparently coordination gets better when drinking, contrary to popular belief.
I'm sitting on a bench on the patio and Am comes out to sit with me for a minute. She sees one of her friends walking inside and asks him to come sit with us for a minute. We both scoot over to make room for him even though he insists he's fine sitting on the arm of the bench. As soon as he starts to sit on the bench, we hear a loud crack and all jump up. The bench is now broken. Oops...People are starting to look. A and I point to her friend. We blame him. Because we are mean. W isn't upset about it of course. He's cool like that. The party continues!
More shots are had, I indulge on some delicious chips and dip. Just a few though. A beer pong tournament starts in the garage. Shots get made in the kitchen. TV watching happens in the living room. There is dancing near the computer where Pandora is playing. Though, W is sure someone changed the station... And I wouldn't really call what's going on over there dancing. One guy rolling around on the floor and a drunk girl literally stumbling out of her shoes isn't really dancing after all.
It was basically a kick ass housewarming party. Course, it's easy to have ass kicking parties when you have kick ass friends. Thanks for the invite guys!

Random things from this week

Apparently my diet is working for my skin too. Not only and I losing weight and feeling better all around, but according to my brow girl, my skin is looking great too. Just another benefit to healthy living.

There was a terrible buzzing noise at work for a little more than one full day. It was terrible. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't hearing it all day long. Eventually my vision had a haze and my brain felt gooey. Good times right there friends.

L, K and I started Yoga Sculpt this week. We've taken it before and it is most definitely a good work out. I expected it to be a lot harder, from what I remembered, but thanks to my now regular exercise routine it wasn't that bad. Of course, that doesn't mean my legs and arms and abs didn't hurt for 3 whole days after the class. But that's the kind of pain I don't mind feeling at all. Even if that pain makes me look like I rode a horse for 14 hours when I walk.

I saw a child on her way to school this morning...she missed the crosswalk light and was so frustrated she decided to sit down and pout right there on the sidewalk. She made me laugh.

My mind is fried and so ready for this 3 day weekend. That's right suckas! I have Monday off. That will give me time to take care of some more projects I want to get done. Or sit around like a bum. Whichever.

I hope you all have an awesomely funtastical weekend!

They should call em floories

There were a couple of birthday parties I had been looking forward to going to on Friday night. Apparently my body had other plans though, because I came home from work and the next thing I know I'm waking up on the couch realizing maybe it's a good night for me to stay in. Since when did I become such an old lady?
After way too many hours of much needed sleep, I got up totally refreshed Saturday morning. I had a couple of random errands to run through the day and Am's birthday party later at night. While I was getting ready for my day, S texted me to tell me she had a present for me. Say what? Now that, is an awesome friend. I needed a reason to force myself out of the house anyway, otherwise I might not have gotten anything accomplished, so I headed over to her place to see what she thought was so perfect for me.

Another weekend, another post. That's how this thing works apparently.
Friday, I had hopes of spending time with a boy. However, it seems the boy only accepts invitations to hang out and does not extend invitations on his own. At least, that's how it seems to me. Ideally, I would find a guy that was interested enough in spending time with me that he would ask me to hang out on his own once in a while. In the mean time, I will hula hoop in front of the tv for hours on Fridays.
Click through to find out what happened the rest of the weekend.