Online dating

Like I said in a previous post, K made an online dating profile for me. She wants to play matchmaker and thinks that this is the way to go. She used a picture of me and L at a bar a while ago and noted in the profile that I was the one on the left (the pic has been changed since, because it seems that most men don't have the ability to read and they kept asking who I was)
I went on one date from this thing and it didn't exactly go great...so on Monday I decided to log on and see if the guy I went out with had sent a message. Not that I was hoping to see something, just had some free time and figured why not.
There was no message from him but there were a bunch from other people. One guy did the "I'm new in town" thing. One guy just sent "Hi I'm M". One guy clearly was cut and pasting his e-mails because he said "I like your profile and pics ;)" There was only one picture on there and if he actually read the profile he would see that the messages should be going to K, not me. It seems like no one can understand that. The one guy who did actually read it just wrote to ask what a naughty pumpkin carving party is and to say we sound like a crime fighting duo.
I don't know why so many men over the age of 40 seem to think I would be interested but they keep messaging, and of course, just like the younger guys, don't read anything. Why even be on a dating site if you're not interested in dating? I'm pretty sure there are websites specifically for people looking to just hook up.

So one message I see on Monday is from a 43 year old and since this can be anonymous I am going to copy and paste our conversation.
He wrote:
Subject: Well you're both cute.
But which one is you, K? (He addressed this to K, not to me...because of course, he didn't actually read it)

Listen, I will admit this: I don't know what I'm doing in terms of this first-message thing. I accept that it's up to the men to message first; but that doesn't mean we know how! I'm mainly on here looking for a like-minded person to meet with for coffee once or twice a week who'll agree to laugh at my jokes or read a magazine while I try to work the crossword. I'm not actively trying to get into a "relationship" beyond meeting people--but of course things do tend to evolve, naturally, and I would like that too.

The part I like about knowing and being with others is just talking or helping them carry large packages upstairs or walking slower than I normally would because they have shorter legs or theorizing about whether their weirdo neighbor might be a spy. Pretty boring stuff. I'm readily able to make people laugh. All my friends are from high school or work, it seems like. I don't know how that happened.

My family is Irish and I go to County Dublin for a month or more every year. If I can afford to, I grab a cheap RyanAir flight from there to the Continent for a weekend or two. It's mostly suburbia, though--kids and pubs. It's more fun when someone goes with me, I've noted.

I hope you'll message me back anyway. I have had a pretty interesting time in life up to now and I have a bunch of stories to tell, but I also like listening to other peoples' stories. I work nights, but I can pick which ones and take off any night I like. I live in Hollywood District and use Tri-Met because I got the BEST parking spot on my street and I refuse to give it up!

I suppose this first message is sort of like bumping into you on the MAX and asking about that book you're trying to read. It seems rude, but if we meet and like each other, well that was okay then ;-)

My name is Werido.

My response:

This profile was made for a girl named Kay.
K is actually already happy in a relationship already. She made this profile to help Kay find a good guy because K likes to play matchmaker and wants to help her friends find happiness.
As for Kay, she is looking for someone closer to her own age.

He actually wrote back and said:

Well Kay is very very smart. Men my age are universally perverts. BUT. We also have large paychecks and we tend to be very generous with pretty young girls.

So if Kay has a lot of rent to pay, she might consider rubbing some older guy's feet one or two evenings per week. She could learn a lot. Just a thought.

Thanks for writing back, anyway.

Oh. My. Effing god! Is this guy serious right now? Just so you know, his profile says you can't message him if you've ever messaged someone for a casual encounter. Riiiiiiight.

I say:

I don't even know what to say to that.
I'm sure there is some girl out there willing to "rub some older guys feet" every now and then in exchange for money, but Kay is not that girl. What exactly would she learn from that?
And by the way, she's not avoiding older guys because they are perverts (though clearly, they so are). It's because she prefers guys around her own age. A few years older is fine but someone that is the same age as our parents is not at all cool. Besides, what would a 20 something have in common with a 40 something?
I am just really stunned at your response.

And he replies with:

Well, I'm stunning!

I dig what you're saying.

But boys your age don't have a J-O-B and before you say there's more to life than money, think about this: isn't it nice when one isn't concerned about one's circumstances or the almighty dollar? When one can be free to do as she pleases and not fret? I don't know. If I was a young chick, I'd consider a fifty year old fat guy too busy to find a date and too rich to care whether I charged a couple pair of Italian leather boots to his gold AMEX or not.

I'm just thinking out loud here.

I'm glad you allow me to speak frankly. And I hope you don't take lasting offense.

There's more to life than keeping up appearances. Poverty is not at all cool either.

Weirdo

Wow. Really man? I can take care of myself. I sure as hell do not need some old creeper to do ANYTHING for me unless it's hold the door open when I walk into a store or something.
And don't even try to tell me what you would do if you were a "young chick" because you have no clue! You're a dirty old man and that's it.

I say:

That situation might be ok for some people, but Kay is doing just fine on her own. She makes enough so that she doesn't need to worry about her bills being paid.
There are guys our age with not just jobs, but careers. They might be harder to find, but that doesn't mean she's going to bide her time by playing trophy to an older guy. She doesn't worry about money and she just isn't in to older guys.
Definitely a lil skeeved out.

He replies (AGAIN!):

lol. I didn't mean to skeeve you out. Whatever THAT means. I'm probably just messing with you, K. You're doing a good think trying to hook Kay up. She will do well. I'll talk to all the guys my age and see if I can get them to stop being such perverts and quit looking at cute young chicks. What do you think they'll say to me?

I say:

Im not expecting the world to change. I know that guys will always appreciate a good looking young girl, and that's fine. And it's fine for you guys to find a girl willing to do what you want. But you have to realize that some girls will get offended when you say something like that because some girls are way better then that. They deserve a guy to fall madly in love with them and to fall madly in love back. They don't deserve to be some arrangement. Money isn't everything. Not every girl can be bought off. And no girl deserves such treatment. They are all worth more.

And again, he replies:

You are right. Point well taken. I'm proud of you standing up for that. I mean on the one hand I'm tempted to tell you 1956 is over and Prince Charming is an alcoholic, but I do know it still sometimes works out "the right way", the way my parents had it (married in 1960, still together) and the way the story books say. So the evidence is on YOUR side.

And I'm a jaded old creep. I admit that. But you guys looked WAY cute in that picture. And every 37th one of you will go for one of us. And we don't know who is Miss 37. What am I supposed to do about THAT?

Try and look at it from my perspective: I've had my hands on your kind of skin (and yes, there's a difference) for the last time in my life; and I know it. But I still have to look at you until I'm dead. So it's bad. At least my cut-off point is the legal drinking age. There's guys that swing lower than THAT. Let's you and me talk about THOSE perverts, how 'bout it? (joke)

You're fun, though. I hope life doesn't kick you in the teeth. Sorry my group messed up the whole friggin' economy, too. We knew what we were doing and we did it anyway. And that wasn't fair. Since we had it good when we were your age. (1990-1995)

This guy makes me want to bathe in bleach.
Look, I'm not an idiot. I know that older guys want younger girls and I know there are girls out there willing to play along to get some free stuff or money or whatever. But seriously...I already told this guy he skeeved me out and that I wasn't into older guys so why...WHY did he feel the need to keep writing? Yes, I kept responding but it was always in a negative way. I don't want anything to do with this guy. Oh, and so not cute. If George Cloony was on the other end of those messages I might have gone for it but why on earth would a hot young 20 something want to be hanging around with a pasty old white guy? Oh right, she wouldn't want to.
No way am I writing back. I don't ever want to see that guys face again.
Blech ick gross.