Quality Family Time. Or Something Like That.

I woke up as early as I could Saturday morning, which turned out to be around 8 am. I had planned to drive up to my dads house in Washington to surprise my little sister for her Birthday. Her mom, my step mom, helped plan it out with me. Facebook brings people together (when it's not being a total jackass).
I packed a small overnight bag since I knew I would be staying for the night and headed out. I grabbed some rockstars and a protein bar when I got gas and I was officially ready for a mini road trip by myself. Except that I forgot my CDs. Damn. Oh well. Too late to turn back.
After driving for a little over an hour I saw a sign for a rest stop. Which I definitely needed. As soon as I saw the sign I got all the way over to the right and waited for the exit. That never came...How could I have possibly missed the exit? I know I went more than 2 miles, which is how far the sign told me the exit would be. I know I had my eyes on the road the whole time. What the heck?? I might pee my pants...er...I mean...tights.
Click through to see if I made it or not...

After driving for what felt like forever to my bladder, I finally saw a sign for a Subway and decided I could stop there for a healthy lunch and they would for sure have a bathroom.
It was without a doubt the most laid back Subway I have ever been in. The sandwich artist was mopping when I came in and it took him a few minutes to make it back behind the counter and get his gloves on. He made my order slower than anyone I've ever met. Even his voice was slow. He took the time to put everything away before ringing me up which I thought was a tad bit off, but whatever. I was ready to burst and this place didn't even have bathrooms inside. I had to walk out the door and down a really long corridor and the signs stopped there so I had to poke around like a weirdo until I found the door.
Finally relieved, I resumed my journey. Of course, the driveway I left from was right turn only and I needed to go left. U turn, find freeway, finally keep driving. I pull out the directions from step mom and make sure I know the exit I need so I don't miss it. I've still got plenty of time but I like to be prepared as much as I can be. Thankfully, I didn't hit any traffic and before I knew it, it was time to get off the freeway. I checked the next part of the directions and started looking for a Fred Meyer and a couple of other stores she mentioned. I should pass them any time. Hmm...no sign of them yet. She did say "keep going" so maybe that means it's down a ways. After 5 miles and no sign of any store mentioned in my directions, I was starting to worry. I pulled into a shopping center parking lot and read through all of the directions. None of this sounded like anything I had seen at all. It seemed like I was on a main road, but I really couldn't tell where I should be going and I had no address to go off of. I saw a nail salon across the street with their number nice and visible. I called to get their address so I could mapquest my way outta there from my phone.
Of course, the woman was suspicious of why I wanted her address. She gave me just the numbers and then stopped to ask why I needed it. Then she didn't understand what I was saying and I had to repeat myself 4 times before I finally gave up and said I had something to mail to them. Then I finally had an address. I mapquested, and was on my way. After going out the wrong driveway. Damn it.
According to mapquest, I had over an hour left to drive. Awesome sauce. Drive drive drive. Finally make it to the exit and start looking for my first turn. Oh...there it goes. Damn it. U turn. Correct turn. Look for next turn. Oh...there it goes. Damn it! U turn. Correct turn. Finally! I make it to their street and I have to slowly creep up the street until I see which house is theirs. By now, it's snowing. And not that crap Portland snow either. Real, sticking to the ground, cold as hell, snow. I see the house...and my step brother on the porch. He's on the phone and clearly wondering who is creeping up in front of his house. I have to park out of view behind some giant foliage, making me seem even more suspicious. Once I'm out of the car and crunching my way through the snow to the door, I say hey and he says hey back. He asks what I'm doing here and I tell him I'm there for A's birthday. He says cool, we walk inside and he disappears to his room. Step mom tells A her present has arrived and when she turns around and sees me...her face makes all the wrong turns, terrible drivers, lack of bathrooms and long hours of driving so completely beyond worth it.
She ran straight to me and gave me a huge hug. You should know, it's been about 4 years or so since the last time we saw each other. This was long overdue. After we all hug hello, we end up on the couches, watching tv and talking about anything that comes to mind. They decide on chinese for dinner (YESSSSS) and I breifly meet A's friend, who spends most of the night playing on the computer. Step brother was seen for a small moment on his way out the door for the night, and I didn't see him again while I was there. We watch A's favorite show, Most Extreme Water Parks and plan a family vacation around the country to hit all the best water parks. There are some seriously fun looking water slides out there guys. Like...Fer reals.
When dad gets back with the food, we all sit at the table (that's a weird concept for me...since I have no table at home) and dive in to delicious chicken, beef, vegetables, and humungo egg rolls. The snow is still falling and I'm starting to wonder if I'll really be able to go home the next day.
I was hoping to leave early enough to make it back to Portland in time for lunch with mom. But, I always get scared driving through even a little bit of snow, so if it doesn't stop snowing soon, I might get trapped. Further proof of snow being scary arrives in the form of someone getting stuck in the ditch just outside the back of the house. Dad goes to the balcony door to see whats going on, relays the info to step mom and I on the couch, and then runs upstairs to get a better view. A is just as excited and lets us know as soon as the tow truck arrives. They stand on the back porch telling us what's happening and then A can't handle it any more and makes me come outside to look. Boy...that's a big ditch. Dad tells me that car I'm looking at, attached to the tow truck, wasn't even visible a few minutes ago because of how far it had fallen. Yep. I'm definitely not driving in snow. No sir. Not happenin.
We all sit around the table again to sing A happy birthday and have some delicious red velvet cake. Damn right I had a piece! It's my sister's b-day cake. And it was fresh. And delicious. So....delicious. 
Once it starts to get later, we decide on sleeping arrangements. I'll sleep in my sisters room and her and her friend take the spare room. It was really odd being in my sisters room. Not at all uncomfortable. It was just a different environment. She has a flat screen tv in her room. I'm so used to my giant old school weigh a million tons tv. Her room seems so big too. Bed with a nightstand, a long dresser, armoire with the tv on top, a desk with a computer, and a bookcase. With more than enough room to move around. We could easily fit 2 hula hoopers in the empty space in there. My room feels so tiny with it's giant bed and no room for really anything else but no where else to actually put my dresser but in front of the bed. I love my room and all...but damn, I wish I had that much space. No way am I downsizing from my queen bed though. Never gonna happen.
Everything was pink and girly. I peeked at her necklaces, hanging from a cute stand under the tv. I looked at the pictures and things she had hanging on the walls and on shelves around the room. Her fairy doll collection was displayed on shelves near her bed. There were cute girly flower and bird stickers (put a bird on it! bonus points if you know what that's from) on the closet doors and on the fan blades. I admired how tidy everything seemed, knowing how possible it is that the clean was forced...but wondering if maybe my little sis is just that organized. It took me a few minutes to finally figure out how to get the tv to turn on. Helps when you find the right remote...
For some reason I thought watching ghost hunter type shows would be a fine idea. Apparently forgetting my fear of the dark. Silly woman. Before I crawled into bed I sat in my sisters pink cushy desk chair, and wrote her a note on paper I found while wandering around her room. I told her how much I love her and how awesome she is and then tacked it to her corkboard. Then I crawled into bed. I checked out my now oozing rug burn that Id kept under a large antibiotic filled bandaid the whole day. It looked absolutely foul. Cover that back up...I watched one full episode of ghostliness, and then decided to write a few more little notes for A. These ones were smaller. Little things like "I love you!" and "Have a great day sis!". Then I hid them around her room. I don't know if she found all of them yet, so I can't tell you details, but it was fun looking for random places to hide them so that she wouldn't find them all right away. It will be a nice little surprise when she finds them.
I finally really crawled into bed and realized why I love my queen size bed so much. For one thing, my feet don't hang off the end. For another, if I want to sleep diagonal, I can without falling off the bed. However, her comforter is super soft. Mine is crap. Warm, but not soft like hers was. Added bonus were the rainbow colored hearts on the blankie. Nothin helps you sleep better than love.
I wake up pretty early and expect everyone to be up already...but no one is. I thought about hopping in the shower before everyone woke up...and then decided to lay back down for a little bit. I didn't have to wait long before step mom was up. I made sure it was ok for me to take a shower and hopped in. Just like with A's room, I marveled at the differences between what I'm used to and what they're used to. My bathroom is cold like the arctic. And tiny. And the shower disgusts me. The last tenant was a smoker...and apparently smoked in the bathroom. Over the past couple years, as I've showered there daily, the steam has pulled all the smoke out of the walls and ceiling and now the walls run yellow and there are spots of nasty old nicotine right above my head in the shower. The paint they used on the windowsill in the shower is made for anything but being near water, and has peeled and it's possible it's molding. Makes me wanna gag.
But their shower....oh how clean! How spacious! How amazing! Plenty of storage for towels, unlike my house where there is only room for tp and extra soap in the bathroom. The shower had more than just a couple of shelves to set things on built into the wall. And none of it looked slimy or moldy or in any way gross because it was made from materials meant to be in a bathroom. It was so nice.
I kept it short because I didn't want to hog the bathroom and I went back to A's room to do my makeup. When I go downstairs, step mom has a smoothie waiting for me. Kick ass! The roads outside look totally clear, even though there is still a blanket of snow over the yard. Before I can get ready to leave we're ordered to take pictures. Me and A together, dad and his daughters together, then dad forces step mom into the pictures even though she's reluctant. We make A's friend come and take a picture of all 4 of us and when all picture demands are met, I can start to get my stuff together. I ended up leaving with a heck of a lot more than I came with. My sister gave me some awesome rainboots that were too big for her. Step mom gave me a book about yoga, a few movies and a work out video with a resistance band to go with it. Hells yes! Working out at home just got a lot easier. It felt like I wasn't there very long and I was already leaving. There were lots of hugs of course, and I promised to come back more often.
I was given very clear directions on how to make it to the freeway. No one wanted me getting lost again. Turn right, turn left, there's the freeway. As I drove home, I kept my thoughts on my dad and sister and step mom. They've been in my life for quite some time now. I mean, A just turned 16 (!!!!!), and I've only seen her a handful of times. I used to hold a lot of resentment towards my dad for not being in my life more as I was growing up and it always hurt a lot knowing that A got all of his love and I felt like I wasn't getting any. I thought about my mom and grampy. I know their relationship hasn't always been the best. It took a while for my mom to get to the point she is with her dad and I thought if she can do it, then I should have no problem letting go of all those past feeling I had about my "other" family. I started to get more and more excited about future visits, seeing my sister grow into a young woman, learning more about my dad and step mom. Maybe actually seeing my step brother for longer than 45 seconds. Water park adventures! It felt good.
Then I saw the sign that said "Vancouver BC    71 Mi".
F*&%! Are you effing kidding me right now? I'm almost to CANADA?! Jesus....ef....damn....hell. I almost started to cry. What the helllllllllllllllllll?
When I got on the freeway, the sign said Vancouver. Being from Portland, I automatically assumed that meant the couve. Turning onto the freeway before seeing the sign that said Seattle...which is where I really wanted to go. I didn't see a sign that said "B.C." until I was almost already there. If I had my passport on me I would have just kept going. Instead, I took the next exit that had a sign for a gas station and was terrified to find the station covered in snow. There were 2 mini plows driving around the place clearing the pumps for cars to access. I called my mom and was certainly not the nicest person as I told her the reason I was going to be about 4 million hours later than usual. I was very frustrated with myself. How could I do something to stupid? How could I let myself get so far without ever checking to make sure I was actually going the right direction? Why did I keep getting turned around? Why can't things just go right?
Sorry mom...I know I wasn't pleasant.
(Side note: do you have any idea how boring, annoying, and looooonnnnng a 6 hour drive is when you're alone? With only 6 cds? Longest drive of my life. And I drove 8 hours to California last summer.)
After getting gas I headed straight back to the freeway, making sure I was heading south this time. The next 3 hours of driving I spent mentally abusing myself for making such a mistake. I felt like such an idiot. I really didn't want to go do the Sunday thing with mom and grampy but once I finally crossed the bridge into Oregon, I decided I might as well. I had the time, and since I knew I would be busy all week getting ready for my vacation, this was really one of the only chances I had to see them before I left. Plus, I was closer to them than to my house at that point so I called mom and headed her way.
I got to her house and we were out in less than 5 minutes, with her dog in tow. We drove the 3 blocks to grampys house and walked in as usual. Mom walked in first and headed to the back to take off her jacket. I said hey to grampy and he says "You know, that Canada, is North...and we're south right?" All with a big smile on his face. Ha, ha. I know grampy. Thanks for that. Mom tells him we don't need to joke about it and starts to say I already feel bad enough about it but before she can finish grampy is already yelling at her.
"Can't even make a f*&%ing joke anymore!"
Uh...what? I was already sitting down but mom was still taking her jacket off, so we hadn't been there very long at all. Now he was up and storming towards mom with his wallet out.
"Take your money and get out!" He threw a wad of bills at her and stormed back to his chair. Ok, so...he didn't really do any storming. He is an old man after all. It was more of an anger-shuffle. I looked at mom and her mouth was hanging open. Neither of us knew what to do. Grampy turned the tv way up and folded his arms across his chest. Mom handed me the money and told me she was getting this for me to take on vacation with me. Then she said she was going to walk home.
Oh no you're not woman! First of all, you forgot your cane and that's a no-no. Second of all, why would I want to stay here with this grumpy old man who won't look at or talk to either of us? No ma'am. I'm drivin your ass home woman.
We head out the door and I mutter a feeble goodbye one our way out, that is not returned. Funny how I was just thinking about how well my family has been able to stick together. All mom was trying to do was to spare my feelings. She knew how upset I was with myself already, and didn't think joking about it, at least at that moment, when it was still fresh and I was still clearly upset about it, was the best idea. She was trying to protect her daughter and her father got mad at her over it.

I struggled for a few days over whether or not I should write about this. I thought maybe I should only be posting happy stories and things that will make people smile and laugh, but this is a blog about my life, and I already censor myself so much here trying to protect other people and not offend anyone. I have bad days just like everyone else, though they might not be as often, but I try not to write about them. I think maybe it's more to help keep it out of my mind rather than wanting to appear as someone who is always happy and having fun...though that thought did run through my mind as well.
I certainly don't want to make things worse with grampy and I was afraid writing this might make things go that way. At the same time, I'm not even sure he reads this. And if he does, all I've done is say how I feel about what happened. I know he was just trying to make a joke and I understand that his life is a stressful one but I'll never understand how he can write my mom off so quickly after everything they've been through, for seemingly no reason. This isn't the first time he's stopped talking to mom. He doesn't even send her the daily e-mail he used to send to both her and I. I do still get them though.
I am so grateful for everything grampy has done for me and given me and of course I'll always love him. However, that doesn't mean that this situation isn't upsetting to me.

Mom, I love you. You were an awesome mom and I had a fantastic childhood. I am so beyond happy with my life and it's because of you. I know I don't say it enough or show it enough, but you mean the world to me and I love you so very much.

Alright, enough sappiness. I've got a busy night ahead of me! I'm going to the 100 Best Companies to Work for in Oregon awards dinner tonight with my company (because yes, we rock that much) and after that I board the plane to visit the bestie J in Florida. I can not wait!