Vacation part 1

I know it's taken me a while to write anything about anything...I left for a trip to visit J in Florida on the night of the 3rd. I left directly after the award dinner for the 100 Best Companies to Work for in Oregon (#4 baby!) and K was nice enough to drive me to the airport. I was packed and ready for almost an entire week by the time it was actually time for me to leave because I have been so excited for this trip. In fact, I made a countdown chain to have a constant reminder of the days left until complete freedom. I made it with cutsie paper...zebra stripes, pink hearts, glitter paper...I might have had a bit too much fun making that thing.
It was a weird feeling to walk in to the airport knowing I would be totally on my own until I reached Florida. Yes, I've been on my own living as an adult for years now, but flying across the country all on my own for the first time in my life....it really hit the adulthood message home. I'm much more often closer to being a child than an adult so maybe that's why it was so weird for me. Or, maybe it's because I'm weird.
Anyway, I made sure to pack a couple of books and magazines to have for my wait time at the airport but found that my mind was far too distracted with the fact that I was finally on my way. I tried to read, but I couldn't comprehend anything. So I settled for people watching until the plane boarded. Which is really a lot of fun in an airport.
Click through the jump to read more!

I wont bore you with too many flight details. I flew from PDX to Houston and from there to Tampa, where J picked me up with baby M in tow. There were no screaming babies on either flight but I did sit next to a mom and daughter traveling together who were kinda rude. Not only did they close the windows (that's my favorite part of flying...seeing the world from so far above), but every time the daughter adjusted to get more comfortable sleeping in her mothers lap (yes, really. Even though the daughter appeared to be high school age...nearing the end of high school age) she would kick me, or my things and her ipod was so loud I could have learned Spanish if I didn't opt to put my own headphones in. And she kept her ipod on the entire flight. Even when the told us to shut everything off. Look, I know not everyone is a fan of that rule, either for lack of believing it will cause any real damage or because they don't care, but when you're already annoying me, you not following the rules will definitely make you more annoying.
When I finally got off the plane in Florida I was way beyond excited. I expected J to be waiting right at the gate...and she was...but the gates at the Tampa airport are way different. I ended up having to take a short train ride from where I landed to where she was actually waiting. Hard to explain, and harder to figure out without asking airport workers for help. I'm a man that way.
J and I both literally jumped up and down when we finally saw each other. I think I actually skipped part of the way to her. We hugged and danced a smidge. I tried to say hi to baby M but he was a wee bit frightened of me. I tend to do that to kids...After finally getting him to stop falling to the ground when we tried to walk anywhere, we packed ourselves into J's truck (A.K.A. the big blue monster) and headed into town to find a hotel.
J lives in Sarasota but I flew into Tampa and since we had tickets to see Kevin Hart (!!!!!) that very night we decided to get a hotel and stay in Tampa for my first night. After all, the show was at night and we knew we would want to go out afterwords, so it made sense to stay somewhere close rather than driving almost an hour back to her place when we knew it would be late and we would be tired. And J might be drunkish. J used her GPS to find a couple of hotels nearby where the show would be. We drove by the first couple...they weren't good lookin places, and finally ended up at the Hyatt. We went inside, decided it was the perfect place and booked a room. We checked it out for a minute before heading out to the mall. We had to look for something to wear to the show! Well ok...I had packed an outfit for the show but J wanted to shop and I wouldn't say no if I found something fabulous...like a shiny necklace or fantastic pair of shoes...
I quickly found out that doing anything with a child makes everything seem so difficult. People really think I want one of those?
Baby M hung out in his stroller while we walked through the mall looking for something to catch our eye. Go in a store, look around, find some cute things, rein the child in, go to another store, look at some shoes, tell the child not to touch things, go to another store, look at pretty jewelry, consider buying a giant bag (it could be my carry on!), pick up the things the child has thrown to the ground, go to another store, wander off on my own to look at some shirts and hear a crash behind me....oh no....
I turn around and see a pile of clothes on the ground. I run over to see if everything is ok and find baby M had caused an entire rack of clothing to crash to the ground from his stroller. Thanks kid.
J and I help the sale girl pick everything up and put things back on the hanger. Apparently baby M isn't the first child to do this in this same store...or to this sales girl. At least we helped clean up.
We end up leaving the mall with nothing we came looking for and after a quick change at the hotel rush to meet J's family for dinner before the show. At least that was the plan, until we hit traffic. At a dead stop. And since Florida has no hills or mountains like Oregon, we could see the traffic stretch out for miles. All stopped. Now we start to panic a little. We adjust the plan from dinner with the family, to a quick drink and chat before rushing back to the show. We finally make it to where we're going but of course, as with anything involving a child, it's not a quick event. First we have to park, where I run to pay for parking while J gets baby M and his baby bag out of the car and ready. Since this process takes longer than paying for parking, I take a minute to check out the water we're parked mere feet from. The waves are splashing up over the edge of the concrete and huge birds are hanging out on the water. I try to take a picture with my camera...but even though I made sure to charge the thing before packing it into my purse, it's dead and won't turn on. Awesome.
I take a picture with my phone but it does no justice to the beauty that is really in front of me. Baby M and J are ready to start walking from the parking lot to the restaurant. I stop to play tourist with my phone a couple of times to take pictures of the giant birds along the way. The walk seems to take forever but we finally make it and head upstairs in the elevator. I can't help but smile when I see J's family. I haven't seen them since they moved down there and just like with J, it was like no time had passed. They were all smiling, as usual, and brother J even commented on my weight loss! The waiter got our drink orders and was quick getting them to us. We gulped down some water and then headed out, leaving baby M with J's family so we could have the night child free. Thank you guys!
We parked the big blue monster at the hotel parking lot (like we're gonna let some valets park something we call the big blue monster? uh...no thanks) and had the concierge grab us a cab to the show. J pulled out the big guns and got us FRONT ROW SEATS! She was worried we would be cold since the show was in a place that's actually an ice rink.... I knew with all the laughter and so many people in the place we would be fine and when we finally got all the way to our seats I knew the excitement wouldn't let us get cold. We were feet from the stage. If we really wanted to get crazy, one of us could have easily jumped up onto that stage. Of course, for that to work, the other would have to get taken down by security...
The show got a late start which was annoying at first but once it started we didn't care at all. A few of Kevin Harts comedy buddies came out before him and J knew who they all were because she had watched all the behind the scenes footage on the K Hart dvds. They were all super funny...and one was slightly nasty. Nasty man may have offered $100 for sex and then pointed directly at me on his way off the stage... They all made eye contact with us, thank you front row seats! Finally, Kevin came on stage and we were more than excited to find out he was doing all new material. And good lord was he funny! My cheeks hurt all night from all the laughing. I cannot wait for the dvd to come out. He definitely made eye contact. We could see the spit fly outta his mouth. We basically made out with him right then and there.
When the show ended, they announced an after party just across the street and without hesitation J and I decided to at least check it out. After going back to the hotel to change again of course. We caught a cab back to the area where the party was and had to walk around a little bit before we finally found it. They had turned a movie theater into a dance club for the night. The line was pretty long but we were ready to wait. After waiting for a little while, some people started to filter out of the makeshift club. And it seemed like everyone that was leaving....were all white. Weird observation to make sometimes...but not when you're the only 2 white people in a line that takes 40 minutes to get through. Whatev.
We finally made it through the line, paid the ridiculous cover charge and headed in. It was a pretty cool set up. They had a bar in the middle of the lobby area and had a DJ booth set up near the actual theaters. The light was low and though the place wasn't packed, getting to the bar would be a process. We decided to do a lap and see what all was going on. The VIP area had been set up around the DJ booth, with couches and tables and of course, lots of drunk dancing. The best.  We made our way back to the bar so J could get a drink and then we were ready to dance. We avoided all the stare downs and tried to figure out when Mr Hart would finally show up. The DJ kept saying "Kevin Hart is in the building people!" but of course he was nowhere to be seen. We tried to scope out some cute guys but found that most people avoided eye contact with us. I saw more than one group of girls look at me and J and give us stank face. J saw more people do the same thing. What's the cure for stank face? More drinks. So we went back to the bar.
The bar was crazy. There was a cash bar near the other back corner with a smaller line, but of course we used our cash to get into this damn place so we had to wait with basically everyone else in the club at the main bar. We watched group after group get drinks before we were finally close enough to the bar for me to lean. You need to relieve your feet in some way when you're in gigantic heels ya know.
We waited some more at the bar and J decided she was going to order 2 so we wouldn't have to come back through the drunk zoo again. As we waited for the bartender to get from the other end to ours, I saw a few girls yell at her for taking so long, and the guy next to us kept trying to get her attention and was frustrated that she wasn't obliging. I know waiting isn't fun, but really, when there are constantly 30 people around your bar, you'd take a few minutes too. Calm down people.
The guy next to us keeps trying to wave down the bartender with his money and tries yelling his order to her. J makes some small talk with him about how it's going to take forever and we see a flash of the guys all gold teeth. When she finally makes it to us, gold teeth tells me and J to tell the bartender what we want and he'll get it for us. Nice! I get a redbull and K orders her drinks. He got his $20 bill that he had been using as a flag out and the bartender went to get the drinks. We thanked gold teeth but when the bartender came back and told us the order was more than $20, rather then waiting for gold teeth to get his wallet out, J handed the bartender her card. Gold teeth looked confused and J promised him it was no big deal. He tried to get her to take the 20 he had but she refused. So he set it on the bar and said "If you don't pick that up, someone else will" and started to walk away. We used the cash to check out the VIP section.
Which was basically the same thing as the rest of the "club". Sure, they had chairs and couches, but they were all already taken. We worked our way through the crowd, which had increased quite a bit since we first arrived. It was here I spotted the only other 2 white people I saw while we were inside. Once huge-a-rific girl chugging from a bottle while trying to drop it low...not cute. And the other, a girl with corn rows in her hair and full ghetto wear on. I saw her when she gave me stank eye. Ah, so friendly the locals are!
J and I found a square foot of clear space to dance and used it to work off some calories. Dancing with J is one of my favorite things. We like the same music and dance in kind of the same way and we both really enjoy dancing, even if it makes us sweat all our makeup off. No offense to my other girls, but J is my favorite dancing buddy. I needed a break because the sweat was starting to gross me out a little, so we found a wall to lean on for a couple of minutes. We people watched and listened to the DJ lie to us about Kevin Hart some more while I fanned myself with my clutch. We went for another round of dancing and when we took our next break, I couldn't take the pain any more. After hours of dancing in heels, they had to come off. Of course, I came prepared. I pulled my flip flops out of my clutch and spent the rest of the night carrying my heels with me. My feet were very thankful.
The DJ said something about a good night and we knew the club was closing. And no appearance from Kevin Hart. Not a hint. Not a glimpse. Not even one of his comedy buddies. It's not like I was really expecting to meet them or anything (even though the one did offer me some mulah...) but it's irritating that the DJ kept us there with false promises. Rude.
The "club" wasn't far from the hotel (cab fare there was only $6) so we decided to walk back. The good thing about flat Florida is you can see everything so I knew we could just locate the hotel by sight and walk towards it. J was definitely too tipsy to rely on for direction, but it was easy to find our way back. We joked about the show and talked about how unwelcome we felt in the club. Even with the unwanted feeling, being reunited with J made everything feel awesome. It's been a year since she moved, and somehow through the distance we've managed to grow closer. It took me entirely too long to get my ass down there for a visit.
We made it back to the hotel and decided we had to stay up for another hour so we could get in the hotel hot tub. For some silly reason they close the pool and hot tub from 11pm to 5 am so even though our feet would have loved some relaxation right then, we had to wait. We tried to watch tv but the hotel system made it really hard to figure out. The airplane tvs with remotes built into the armrest were way easier to figure out. We made a huge mistake by laying in the bed knowing how tired we were and how comfortable the bed was...J passed out and I looked at the clock. 10 more minutes and I would wake J up and we would go to the hot tub.

When I woke up, the sun was shining, and we had to get ready to leave. That 10 minutes was more than enough for my exhausted, jet lagged body to take control and make me sleep.
It was finally time to check out where J really lived. We drove from Tampa to her parents to get baby M and then headed to their apartment. The entire drive I stared out the window in awe. There were palm trees everywhere. The trees that weren't palm trees didn't look anything like the trees in Oregon. The birds that flew around looked exotic. The grass looked different. There was beautiful water all around. I could see from one end of the horizon to the other. There were no mountains or even small hills in sight. And best of all, not a cloud around. I was finally wearing a skirt without tights on my legs and a tank top with no sweater or jacket over it. It felt incredible. I actually needed to use my sunglasses!
It went beyond just weather though. They had stores everywhere that I had never heard of. I mean really, the only thing I recognized down there (besides some stores in the mall) were fast food places like McDonalds and Taco Bell. Everything else was totally foreign to me. The sounds the birds made, the way people violated traffic, the kinds of things in the store displays, even the sidewalks looked different to me.
I stayed in that awed state for the rest of the week.