Ladies night + karaoke

C and I bought snacks for ladies night. We were just setting everything up when A got to the house. She was really excited about the technicolor daisies. K showed up next with a bottle of wine. She then remembered the last time she brought a bottle of wine over and I didn't have a corkscrew and it was a disaster so she asked if I had one. Lucky for her, I did. Because of what happened last time... I fish it out and give it to her and keep talking to A. Then there's a snap and K looks shocked. What happened? She broke my corkscrew. The metal screw is in the cork and not attached to the thing in Ks hand. She broke it. Well now what? Like last time she reaches for a knife. First she grabs a sharp one and then thinks of safety and grabs a butter knife instead. Push the cork in? No, that's not gonna work. Pull cork out? No...that's not working either. Chip the cork away one teeny bit at a time? Sure why not. C and I sit back and watch and A and K try to get the wine open. The discussion sounds like this: "Yea, but don't break that. I already broke that." Somehow they get the broken corkscrew looped to the cork and K says "they're screwing!" Clever! Ha! Get it? Cuz it's a corkSCREW? Hahahaha! One of them holds the bottle while the other pulls the cork. I got stuck in the corner and can't get away. I want to get away because everything that's happening doesn't seem safe and the last time K and I went through this the bottle definitely broke and there was a little glass to pick up. Just like that the wine is open! A gets splashed in the face by the wine though. And a little splatters on the chips. Well now I can't have chips. So I bake some cookies.
The rest of the girls show up and we talk while I bake cookies. We tell stories about naked neighbors (poor L and K), watching neighbors get arrested (at least 4 now...) and the troubles of living on a base. C tells us about the time she had to call the cops to try and save someone and the dispatcher acted like it wasn't that serious. We talk about mosquito eaters and spider killers (some of whom are non killers and quite rude).
K and A start to make a trophy for no reason. A garbage trophy. We're all class all the time people. The couch, AKA C's bed, is littered with trash. Candy wrappers, crumbs and now we're adding glow stick garbage. I got a killer deal on glow bracelets/necklaces in the Halloween aisle so of course we have to make glow crowns.
We have scary (not really) movies on in the background. They're playing on tv so all the cursing is dubbed over to be less "threatening" or something for children or something. The guy on tv says "we're gonna kill this mother father!". Oooh, scary.
Of course we do some jumping and ranting and a lot of laughing but eventually everyone heads home for the night. For some reason at this point in the night my notes (yes I keep notes for this blog. If I didn't I would forget most things and I got tired of always asking other people what I did over the weekend and I bet they were getting tired of it too) say raining whoppers and I have absolutely no idea why. Note to self: make blog notes more specific. I feel like we're missing out on gold here. But maybe not.
It wasn't too late by the time the last girl left so C and I decide we might as well head to karaoke. What's a Friday night without getting creeped on right?
We get to the bar and one of the first things I see is a couple coming out of the bathroom area together. Pretty sure they were up to no good back there. They're both smiling in a way that totally gives them away. They don't get too far when the boy turns around to go back and I assume clean up or something. She just waits for him around the corner with that totally relaxed happy smile on her face. Man this place is so classy. Boy comes back and they start for the door when the manager man comes up and starts to ask about girls age. Now that he says something she does look a little young. Boy laughs. Apparently they're married and have 2 kids and she gets carded everywhere they go even though she's 23. Why am I listening to all of this?
Look around the bar and take in the scenes. Pretty sure I just watched the new bartender rub a pink feather tickler on that womans crotch. Why are we here?!
Someone is singing and the song starts skipping...and so do the words on the screen. That's less than helpful. The new bartender yells "this is fuckin wack KJ!" Singer spills his beer on himself. New bartender walks around and starts dancing and acting crazy. Pretty sure I like her. Before C and I can properly discuss what's happening brother J comes and booty bumps on C and she almost falls off the stool. Everyone laughs.
Someone mumbles through Bobby Brown. We go outside for some fresh air (ok they go out to smoke and I go out for fresh air) and a guy walking outside at the same time says "tis the season" and I think of what? Then he says the rain finally came. Oh....right. That season.
KJ starts packing up the karaoke stuff and we get ready to leave. But then we're peer pressured into going to HJ's house for a little bit before we go home. We're promised it's close and we don't have to stay long. Fine fine. It is Friday and I don't have to be up early so why not. KJ rides with us since we don't know where we're going. He gives directions even though we end up following his brother. And he gives the wrong directions. We're following someone and he gives me the wrong directions. Yea they're turning but you don't want to turn. Keep driving. Oh no, wait, they were right. Turn around. We have to turn where they turned. When will I learn to not let drunk people tell me where to go? We make it there safe and sound despite that.
We're greeted by a lick happy dog. The worst kind. Besides the bite happy I suppose...Girl M warns us that these guys are dirty horny old men. We've met at least one of them before. We're aware. They're not really paying attention to us anyway. HJ is outside and we're inside talking and petting lick happy. HJ tells us to be quiet. He has his angry face on. Then he turns on really loud music. Uh huh...
Time to leave comes (after we're offered fresh made BLT's....which are tempting but bed is way more tempting) and we head to the car. The first thing C and I do once we get in the car is to put on our still super glowy glow crowns. Of course we brought them with us. They'll light our way home.