My not so slick friend L

L and I went to dinner at Olive Garden because her coworkers keep talking about the never ending pasta bowl and L has yet to EVER try that out. I love their bread sticks and salad so of course I want to go.
She tells me the story about how she worked at this very Olive Garden for about 4 seconds as we walk in. We put our name on the list and wait for a table. We see a girl walk out to take a call and laugh at the way she walks in those ridiculously tall heels. Yes, I do love heels. Yes, I do own ridiculously tall ones. But this girl is taking teeny wobbly steps. It's clear she can't walk in those shoes. She basically looks like she has peg legs. Yea yea, I know I shouldn't make fun of people. But when you walk around like the peg leg/arm man on Family guy, I'm gonna.
It's finally our turn to be seated and the timing couldn't be better. Peg leg came back in and is walking just in front of us so I get to watch her peg her way through the restaurant. It just so happens her table is the one directly behind ours. For someone that wants to wear those heels I would expect less slouching and wall hugging....
We order and enjoy our food even though we're told the never ending pasta bowl ended the day before. L and I agree that our waiter is indeed cute. The time comes to pay and I tell he she should leave her number for him. She remarks about how well that's worked out for me in the past and she lays that sarcasm on thick. My bad experiences do not mean it will always be that way. I'm persistent. She finally starts to write...and stops with just her name on the paper. I keep pushing. She writes her number. All that's left is to put it in the check holder and leave. But she's having trouble getting that small piece of paper into the check holder. I've never seen anyone have so much trouble putting a piece of paper down. It's in, then it's back in her hand. Almost there, then not even close. Out. In. Out. In. Then she panics. Apparently the cute waiter is right behind me. I tell her just put the paper down and we can leave. He won't know the number is there until he picks it up. She freaks out and closes the check holder and gets up. I grab my purse to follow and realize we left our to go boxes. All I say is "oh food" and when I turn around L is already rounding the corner to go outside. She deserted me. Chicken.
I grab our leftovers and head to the door. Which she is already out.
I find her outside laughing like a crazy person. I make fun of her for being crazy. She laughs some more. We walk to the car and she's still laughing. So am I. We drive back to my house laughing the whole way. At one point I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing so hard and I ended up hitting the horn with my elbow, thus drawing attention to us and making us both laugh even harder. Awesome.
We decide to jump on the trampoline once we finally make it back to my house and stop laughing. We gotta jump off all those calories we just consumed. Though I think all that laughing might have taken care of that.
Jumpjumpjumpjumplaughlaughlaughlaugh whoops peed a little. Ew we're gross.
Stop with the judgey eyes! Trampolines make people pee.