It was cold this morning. Low to mid 30's when we were out there. As I walked from my car to the office, to drop off my things before heading down to our tables, I couldn't help but think about the people sleeping outside in this cold. I am cold and shivering on my 2 block walk to the office. I'm wearing 3 sweaters, a tee and a tank with a big winter jacket and scarf on top of it all and I'm still shivering. I can't even imagine trying to sleep when I feel so cold. I can't imagine feeling this way for more than a few minutes, maybe an hour if I'm choosing to be outside.
Our office is across from the mission. A place where the homeless can go for shelter. The ones that don't make it in for the night sleep on the streets around our building. We see them every day when we walk into the office and when we leave at night. We can see them from our windows. We see them being moved by the police in the mornings to keep the sidewalks clear for the daily commuters.
It's so hard for me to walk by these people every day feeling like there's nothing I can do to help them. I try to smile and say hello when I can make eye contact, because they're people just like you and me. They are people that have fallen on hard times and are in need of help. Every single one of them needs and deserves help, love, compassion and kindness.
Even though it meant waking up before 5am, I was excited to be a part of this. It felt like a great way to end this year. It was a way I could finally give back to these people that I see nearly every day of my life. I honestly had no idea how much of an impact it was going to make on me.
We spent a little over an hour under that bridge. There were 7 of us out there. We poured coffee for the people that came to us. We helped them pick out hats and scarves. We encouraged them to take more than just one fruit and pastry. We tried to round up as many people as we could to serve. We talked with them and offered hugs. I gave my own gloves to a woman after we had run out. I didn't think twice about it. I have more, and can easily get more should I need them. Her hands were so cold that they were bright red and she could barely hold her cane. She said they hurt they were so cold. I poured her a cup of coffee to help warm her a bit. As she turned to leave, she ran into an old friend who had just gotten coffee from us. They walked away catching up on the things they had missed since they last saw each other. For a moment, they were the same as home-having people. They were just two old friends that had run into each other in line for a morning coffee.
Every person that came through our little line was so thankful and sweet. Even the ones that were clearly high on who knows what. And yea, we helped them too. Because they're still people and who knows when they last ate or drank water or experienced any kind of compassion and kindness. They wished us a happy new year, said God bless as they walked away, and one man, J, helped us load up the tables when we were done and carry our leftovers across the street and up the stairs to the mission. He was eager to help us after we had helped him and his friends. In fact, he insisted I let him carry the box I was determined to walk with. I relinquished. We were going to leave the extras at the mission to be given out throughout the rest of the day.
I'm a more than just a little ashamed to admit that as I watched him walk ahead of me with the boxes of leftovers (He walked very fast and was much braver crossing the busy street than I was) I wondered if he might be walking so fast in order to make an escape with the leftovers for himself. Maybe that's why he had insisted on carrying my box. I reminded myself that I want to have faith in people and that I do believe most people are good people, and tried to let go of my worry. Of course, I needn't worry. He walked straight into the mission, proud to help others and deliver those boxes. I thanked him. He thanked me.
***
On our way to the bridge stairs we heard a literal cry for help.
"Help! Help, coffee please. I need coffee."
There was a man, laying in a sleeping bag nearby. He was reaching out to us with one arm, but didn't appear to be able to get up. He looked so sad. We had the coffee with us, but J had the coffee cups in his box and he was so quick, he was already up the stairs. I ran and caught J just before he got into the mission and snagged a fresh cup. The last of the coffee had made it up the stairs behind me and we poured the cup full with a splash of creamer. I ran down the stairs towards the man who desperately needed coffee. The rest of the crew, still upstairs delivering the things we had left.
I smiled and said "Good morning! I have a hot cup of coffee here for you!" reverting right back to my waitress self. He thanked me for the coffee as I kneeled down to hand it to him and before I could say anything he began to ask me if I could help him get on the list for a prosthetic leg. He pointed to his left knee as it raised up and it was clear there was nothing below it. I dropped down onto my legs, sitting next to him now instead of just kneeling and pulled out my phone. I told him I had never done anything like this but I would see if there was anything I could to to help him. I made notes as he gave me his name and birthdate and told me he has Oregon Health Plan. He thanked me again and when I looked in his eyes I saw real relief. I don't know if it's because he thinks I can help, or if it's because someone listened to him when he yelled for help, or if it's just because he got a warm cup of coffee.
I don't know if I can help him or not. But maybe I can find someone that can. Maybe I can find some information for him that he can't find when he's sleeping on the streets. Maybe, until I find anything, I can take him a hot cup of coffee once in a while and get to know him a little better, as a person.
***
These people spend their lives outside. In the cold, in the rain, in the heat. And instead of love and compassion, they get rejection and insensitivity. Now, I know that I'm an overly sensitive person by most people's standards, but this...this tugs at my heartstrings like no other. It should, and it should tug at yours too. These are human beings. They are someones daughter, someones son, someones aunt, someones friend, someones sister or brother, someones father or mother. There are entire families living on the streets. How easily could it be someone we know? How can we continue to pretend they don't exist or that it's not our problem? What if it were you? Would you want someone to care? There is absolutely no need for so many people to go without housing, or at the bare minimum some kind of shelter.
I don't know what I can do to change things. What I do know is I can offer the people I encounter in my life love, kindness, and compassion.
So, on the last day of 2015, I am taking time to reflect on my life and the things I have perceived as problems or hardships. That's not to imply I haven't had real problems or hardships, rather, that I can change my life. Things are not as bad as they could be. In fact, I'm downright blessed with an amazingly abundant life. I have so many amazing friends, a loving mother, my grampys truck, a great job, and I live in a warm home that I love spending time in, with my little family.
In 2016 I plan to show the people I encounter in my life, including myself, love, kindness and compassion. I encourage you to do the same.
Oh, and if anyone knows where I can find my new friend a prosthetic leg, let me know!
