Friday night and the livin is...clumsy

L and I decided to go out dancing Friday night. We were both really excited because it's been so long since we last went out. We got all cute-ed up headed out to a club we haven't tried before. We find parking close to the club and start walking. I see a spider hanging from some web flying through the air towards us so naturally I take a step back. L thinks I'm crazy until she sees the spider too. She moves to the left...so does the spider. She takes a couple steps back...and the spider follows through the air. The web must be stuck on her somewhere. She bobs and weaves until finally the spider drops and we can safely continue walking. That's when we realize how funny we look stopping and bouncing around like lunatics. No one else could possibly see that spider unless they were right next to us. Laugh it up parking attendant guy. Laugh it up.
We get to the club and they tell us we're the last ones they're letting in for free. Awesome! Uhhh homie...there is only 7 other people here. And only one is a boy. This is not gonna work. We go to the bar and get drinks. Soda for me of course. Mmm diet rite (barf). Survey the room. This is pitiful. We give it an hour before finally deciding to try a place we've been to before...but always have weird experiences. Stupid beer licker...
We move the car since the other club is too far away to walk in heels and it's close to my work parking lot, which means we can park for free this time. We walk across the dangerous cobblestonish road, across the max tracks and make it safely to the door where they check out id's and let us in...for free again. Awesome. Crap. It's lame here too! Damn it! L gets another drink and we find a table. I'm really disappointed in the night life right now folks. I wanted to dance. I see a girl in the booth in front of us and she looks familiar. Then I see her husband. It's neighbor C. Random! He sees me and gets up to come say hi. He may be slightly drunk and his wife may have had to come and get him because she didn't know where he went when he got up without saying anything.
L and I people watch for a bit. There is clearly a double date going on to the left. And it's clear that girl number 1 wants nothing to do with guy number 1. We're thinking girl and guy number 2 are together and they're setting up girl and guy number 1. Doesn't seem like such a good match up if you ask me. Girl 1 and 2 get up and head to the bar. Guys talk. Girls come back after way longer then it takes to get a drink in a bar this empty. Girls now sit together instead of next to the boys. Interesting...
Drunkish neighbor C stops by our table on the way out to say goodbye.
Watch an old balding guy with khaki shorts and mandles on walk across the bar. Ew. That's my option man wise at the club. Married neighbor or old guy with mandles. No wonder I'm single.
Look back at the double date and the girls get up to get another drink. They come back and sit next to their matching numbered boy this time instead of with each other this time. Now it's clear that boy number 1 wants nothing to do with girl number 1. Of course she is wearing the hideous tan skort...
Eventually they all get up from the table. Guy and girl number 2 go to the bar or something. Girl number 1 tries to talk to boy number 1 by the stairs. He seems to pretend not to hear her and walks off while she is in mid sentence. She stands there stunned for a minute before walking off. That was fun to watch.

L orders one more drink before we decide to leave. We talk about what we might do next as we walk out the door. L says something drunk to me. We get to the street where we have to avoid a puddle. L is in front of me and the next she's down on the ground. It was actually a graceful fall. He legs are so long...it was kind of like watching a gazelle kneel down. I'm a terrible friend and I can't help but laugh. I ask if she's ok and she's laughing like crazy. She says she's fine. More laughing. There is a round patch of dirt on her knee. She's only worried about how her shoes made it through the scuffle with the ground. By the time we get to the car, which isn't very far, she is still laughing about her knee. Once we get in the car and can see it in the light we find out there is definitely blood. Quite an impressive pool of it actually. I tell her not to bleed on my car. She tells me matter of factly she is just bleeding on her own knee skin. Thanks friend. Good lookin out. She takes a pic of her knee to send to friends.
I start driving. We were thinking about going to get fries...but then L fell so now I'm not sure what the plan is. I see a guy in a car next to us looking at us. He's smiling. I feel awkward. I wave at him anyway. he looks confused. Why? Because L is shaking her head and making a face at him.
Drunk L decides it's a good time to drunk dial everyone she knows. No one answers so she leaves awesome messages about breaking her knee.
We go across an overpass. Under us are train tacks. Wait a minute...what are those lights? It's a guy in a wheelchair. I tell L to look at the wheelchair with space lights. He's just hanging out, looking at the train yard. L tells me he's UFO-ing the train tracks. Drunk insights are the best.
We decide fast food fries are the way to go so I can drop L off to tend to her wound.