My mom, the dog treat hoarder

After sleeping in for a ridiculously peaceful amount of time Saturday morning, I drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day. On the agenda for this Saturday: Go to moms so I can pick up her power screwdriver to hang some shelves in my room...and probably take her shopping. Maybe get some food. I don't get out of the house until well after one. I can definitely be a bum when I let myself.
Pick up mom and she definitely wants to go shopping but says she'll feed me so that's cool. We decide to eat chinese food because there is a place close the the Bi-Mart she wants to go to. She's looking into buying a Wii fit and they have a sale or something. We eat first. Thank goodness. The waitress thinks mom is crazy because orders rice with a side of rice and some more rice please.
I barely eat anything but I feel like I could explode from fullnessosity at any moment. Time to shop and walk off all this food. We go in Bi-Mart and look around forever at nothing in particular. We have no luck finding the Wii. I forgot to even look. Instead I check out the plates, and waffle makers, and spa stuff. By the time we find the Wii stuff I'm no longer in danger of exploding, cuz, you know, it's chinese food. She doesn't want to buy what they have so she buys a mop instead.
Mom talks me into driving her to Winco. I loath shopping there. Loooooaaaathe it. It's always full of morons and rude people and screaming children. Scary stuff people. Mom buys 400 apples which should last her a week she says. Apple hoarder...
Move on from the produce and she heads to the bulk bins. She's looking for dog treats. Her dog, Moz, is a total picky eater. She likes this one kind of dog treat that Winco only sometimes has so every time we come here mom sees if they have them in stock and if they do she'll buy all that she can. She fills a bag but it's not big enough so she gets a bigger one. I yell at her and point too. "Hoarder!!"
Mom goes to look at cheese or something. I stand off to the side so I'm out of the way. I hear a loud rattling sound. It's getting louder. It's the like the Jaws theme music. Starts off kind of distant and gets louder and more intense until finally it's right in front of your face. It a guy with a janky cart who is obviously on a mission. He power walks past me and I can hear the Jaws/cart sound get quieter and quieter.
We walk towards the dairy aisle so mom can get eggs or something. I hear someone on the loud speaker. Mumble mumble. Mumble. Mumble mumble. Yea...
We pass a guy in a motorized wheelchair shopping with his wife. She seems to be yelling at him. Rude.
I hear a weird noise....Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's 2 kids in a cart that's passing me.
In the aisle I'm forced to walk between 2 carts to keep up with mom. One cart has a little girl and the other has the 2 little doooo kids. I'm going to die. Of course nothing happens. I'm dramatic.
We walk by the bakery. I see a man with missing fingers...He's using his nubby hand to hold his cell phone. Don't get mad at me. Obviously he wants people to notice since hes using his nubs and not his empty good hand that's not doing anything. Either that or he's just so used to it he doesn't even notice any more. I'm going to hell.
We finally make it to the check out. Scan scan scanny. I bag the groceries as they come down the conveyor belt. That used to be my favorite part. That was the reason I loved this store. Ugh. There's a problem. The dog treats mom had to have....well the number she wrote on the lil twisty tie is not the right number. They can't ring up the stupid treats without the right number. Mom asks me if I will go and look to see what the right number is. You mean....all the way on the opposite corner of the giant ass child filled store? No thanks. They have people to do that don't they? Isn't that why you always hear "price check" on the loud speaker? Oh...the mumble mumble thing. Hmm. Maybe that won't work after all. The cashier asks another cashier if she knows the number. Then calls over someone from customer service. He doesn't know it either.
By now I have almost all the groceries bagged and I am so ready to leave.
Oh wait. Turns out the number mom wrote was right...the cashier just read it wrong. That's a four not a nine. Silly.
Now I have everything bagged...I push the cart to the side and sit on the bench while mom pays. I survey the chaos going on inside this store. Screaming children, unhappy parents. Lord...I can see that girls drawn on eye brows from here and she has to be at least 6 check stands away! I look over at mom and she's digging through her purse. She looks up and asks me if I have any change. Oh good god! I start to dig in my purse...then I see the nice old lady behind mom give her some change. Thank you nice old lady. Turns out mom was 6 cents short. 6 cents! Sounds like about how much one of those dog treats would cost....
After that hell we decide to hit the Goodwill in the same parking lot for some cheap retail therapy. And boy am I glad we did! Not only did I find 2 awesome dresses but I also scored a couple of humungo over sized margarita glasses that I would love to use in my room for storage or something. Heck, I don't care what I end up using them for...I want them! This certainly took care of the Winco mood.